Friday, June 11, 2010

June 11th, 2006

Hey guys, this seemed like an important date for me to update the blog.
Today five years ago was the day that I met someone special to me that will always have a special space in my heart. I know in the past we've had so many rough patches, bumpy roads, and we've been hurtful to each other. But at the end of the day this person and I have one of the best relationships and I wouldn't change what we have NOW for anything. Everything we went through came down to a great friendship and whatever that has in the future. We're friends now, and that's what's important to me, and hopefully to her.

She gave you her side of the story on the day we met. So I might as well and give you a little glimps of what I was thinking that day as well:

June 09, 2006. I was sitting in my living room in New Jersey watching switching the channels on the TV, it had landed on a Disney Channel show called: Hannah Montana. The girl on it had struck me, I thought she was the most beautiful I had ever landed eyes on. I had my mind set on meeting her. That day we had an interview, they asked us all who our celebrity crush was. I had answered honestly and said that it was Miley Cyrus. I didn't know her and I didn't think I was going to meet her, so I figured I'd be honest on that one, right?
June 11th, 2006. Me and my brothers had been invited a few days ago to perform in a benefit for the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation. I had told a friend of ours that I thought she was really pretty, and turned out he knew her personally and I was also informed that she was at this event. My friend told us where she was and I walked up to her with all of my friends to say hi and introduce myself. She was a lot more beautiful in person than I expected. Her eyes were a big plus. I had never seen eyes like those before. I was going to shake her hand when she stopped me said ''I don't do handshakes, I do hugs''. When we hugged she blurted out ''I hate your shirt!'' which really surprised me, I didn't know what to say to that so I just chuckled at her boldness.

That same day after we've all talked for a little while she asked me to karaoke with her and she put us down for ''I wan'na Be Like You'' from the jungle book. I was feeling a little awkward and taken a-back.My brothers and I had to go, so I wasn't able to make it to sing with her. I felt kind of guilty, but at the same time relieved that I didn't had to sing that song, although I was told that she looked quite comical singing it.

I really wanted to make up to her not being able to sing with her, and leaving her alone to make a dork of herself on her own. My brothers and I agreed to invite her out , I was SO nervous it was ridiculous. I remember sweating and everything. I called her up and asked her out and she agreed to come along. When I saw her she was wearing sweats, she looked really cute in those too. I loved how real she was, and her accent was a huge plus to me. Her accent was one of the most adorable things ever. The dinner was fun. She was a vegetarian so she ate a salad while I ate this huge steak. I remember the conversation, ''how can you eat that?!'' she was looking at me funny and I laughed and said ''Why? it's delicious.'' and she scoffed and said ''Those are living creatures. It's a poor cow!'' and Joe butted in and was like ''WAS living, now it's about to be devoured by the little one.'' I remember her horrified expression. It was really funny.

After dinner, I called her up and we talked for hours on end. We talked about our beliefs turned out we were both hard-core Christians. We talked about each other and what we liked, what we disliked. It was a refreshing talk to each other. We were already best friends then and it was amazing. I felt like I already knew her from head to toes. We were on the phone until 4 in the morning. I knew I was already falling in love with this southern gal. I felt like I was the luckiest guy in the world.

That night I went to sleep with a big smile on my face. I hung up and went to sleep thinking about her eyes. I've always thought she had the prettiest eyes I've ever seen in my life. I was smiling from ear to ear. I fell asleep, and the next morning I had woken up with the same sappy smile on my face. My brother's were happy for me, they liked her a lot. They thought she was a lot of fun to have around and really funny.

What really bummed me out was that she lived in California and I lived in New Jersey. We'd talk mainly on the phone or by IM's and text message. Though, I loved phone better so I could hear her voice and her cute accent. I'd fly out to see her and spend most of my time in California with her.

A few months after, we moved to Los Angeles and we became neighbours, it was so amazing. I was neightbors, and I kept falling harder and harder for her. She seemed to get more beautiful with everyday, more amazing with everyday. We'd sneak out at midnight to each other's house. Or everyday at 5a.m. I'd ask her to come see me before she left to work. Man, was she perfect. She was exactly what I'd looked for in a girl. Funny, smart, pretty eyes, pretty smile, and just beautiful all together.

I'd go over to her house and play sports or video games, or she'd come over to my house and we'd talk for hours in my room. We'd talk about everything and anything or sometimes we'd lay down in silence. That makes me remember our first kiss. I was sitting down by the side of my bed on the floor, my back against the side of it. She was sitting in front of me, indian style. We were sitting down pondering what to do next and I leaned down and pressed my lips against hers. I was freaking out inside, I didn't know if I had done it right, if she liked it. I was so nervous I thought I missed her lips. But I felt her kissed back and every doubt in my mind slipped away. The butterflies in my stomach wouldn't stop, and my heart was beating so fast that it was hurting my rib cage. We pulled away and we smiled shyly to each other before kissing again. That was a perfect first kiss to me.

She loved riding her bike, while she ride her biked I'd walk beside her singing ''My Girl'' by temptation, but instead of ''My Girl'' I'd say ''Miley''. And she'd chuckle and stop randomly riding her bike to peck me on the cheek or my lips. We'd stop at Pinkberry and get a nice frozen yogurt. That was our place, we'd always go there to get a frozen yogurt. We'd hold hands and I'd open the door for her before entering a place. Mom's always taught me to be a gentleman, and that women should be treated with the respect and like queens. So I always treated her like a queen and with all my respect. Then we'd go to my house and always have some kind of Italian food. Miley loved the food that my cooked. So everynight she'd come over and have dinner with us.

We'd write many songs about each other, she'd call me all the time and tell me that she wrote a new song about me and I'd call her and tell her the same. It was kind of a back and forth thing. She told me most her songs on ''Meet Miley Cyrus'' where for me and about me. It was such an amazing feeling having someone like that, that would always let me know she's thinking of me or that I'm her inspiration for a song. She used to call me ''Sweet inspiration''

Like every relationship we had our fights and discussions. We weren't perfect, but that's what made it all the more perfect. You know? What's a relationship without some disagreetments? We weren't perfect at all, but we were perfect to each other dispite our imperfections. We'd fight, we'd laugh, we'd discuss, we'd talk. It was all good.

We decided that we needed a break. Both of us. I was so scared because I thought she wouldn't want me back after it. I really needed her to know that she was still everything to me. I wanted her to always know that. It was the worst feeling in the world. I wrote many songs trying to get mind off it, I wrote ''SOS'' but then I re-wrote a part of ''When You Look Me In The Eyes'' for her. That song was written before I met her, but I re-arranged some of the lyrics thinking of her. I wrote so many songs about her, like ''Hello Beautiful'' when I was back in New Jersey or ''Inseparable'' after the first ''break'' all songs for her.

We went on tour together, and at Egg Roll we saw each other again.. I looked her in the eyes, and there was a pull in my heart that was telling me we were, once again, together. I smiled at her and she smiled back at me. My heart fluttered, and I couldn't wait to hold her again. We knew we were just right for one another.

We broke up December 19th, 2007. It was an awful day for both of us. My heart was broken, shattered in little pieces and I felt like no one understood me. Like no one would ever understand what was it like to be heart broken. It was my fault though, I'd let her go. I'd broken her heart, and broken my own along the way. I sat in my room writing pages, and pages of songs. One of them called ''Sorry'', I've never been that sorry in my life. Sorry for myself, sorry that I've hurt her. Sorry that I'd broken her heart. When the tour ended, I was not myself. I felt like I wasn't myself for a long time.

Last time I saw her was at the New Years event were we performed a song together. We hugged, and it was kind of an awkward hug. But I got goosebomps, it was so warm, and that hugged meant the world to me. We had to let go though, and that's what we did.

A few months later, I heard a song called ''7 Things'' I knew instantly who it was about. The video, the song, everything gave it away. It stung everywhere. I didn't know how to react to it, but I recorded ''Sorry'' and ''Can't Have You'' hoping she'd know that I never meant to hurt her, that she still meant everything to me.

We didn't talk for a long time after that. I went on tours, as she did her own thing. She started seeing other people, and I tried seeing other people, too. I was just too busy to focus on another girl while I still healed. My brother's where a big help, they helped me through the toughest times. And I will always be thankful that they were so supportive and helpful. But I hate that I was never there when she probably needed me the most.

2009 I got a call saying that I had to record a song for the Friends For Change project. A song called ''Send it On'' I was to record a duet with Miley. We saw each other again and we talked, and got rid of every bad ''vibe'' we had with each other. I showed her a song I had written called ''Before The Storm'' she loved it. We sat at the piano, and changed some of the lyrics to fit it more as our story. We've never had done that before, just sitting down and writing a song together. Letting all those old feelings out, forgiving each other. We cried together, we sang, we did music.

The next day I showed it to my brothers and they loved it. We agreed to put it in our next album. Miley recorded the song with us. We were, and still are so proud of that song. Our story is different than anyone elses. We've always been more deep than other people. And I'm glad that I met her. She changed my life. She always brought the best out of me. And as of to this day she still brings the best person that there's in me when she talks to me and I'm so blessed to have someone like Miley in my life. And that's what makes our friendship so different and at times more romantic than others.

So I want to thank Miley for everything that she's done for me. I've never had someone give a such a positive twist in my life and brought so many emotions out of me everytime we talk. Thank you for being such a good friend, and such an inspiration for me. You'll always hold a special piece of my heart. God bless you, and I love you.

Well, that was my side of the story. That was what I felt, and what I feel. It's not easy for me to just come out and let my feelings out like that but in this important date I owe it to myself, and to our story. Our story will never be easy to understand. We're unique. I have one of the best friends ever now. Thank you for giving me such a beautiful story to be proud of.

Nick J

P.S. ''With every strike of lightning comes a memory that lasts''

Monday, June 7, 2010

Hi there

Well, twitlonger isn't working so might as well just update this thing. I haven't in forever! Haha.
So I just got back from rehearsing, I am WIPED. So tired, my voice is a little strained, but it IS a lot of fun being here. Definitely refreshing being back on broadway. Knowing that I get to do what I said I would do in the long run. It came sooner than I ever expected it so I'm excited.

Anywho! regarding the rumors about Nicole or Courtney or any girlfriend that seem to be roaming around. Not dating! I'm single, and I'm happy! It's all cool between them and I, they're great friends, and I honestly don't have the time to date someone with the hectic schedule I have. It's really hard to keep in touch with some friends as it is, and definitely a relationship isn't what I need at the moment. I'm content doing what I do, and expressing myself in music, going back on broadway, etc. Hopefully one day I'll get to settle down and really look forward to my romantic life. As of NOW, I am happy where I stand with all my friends and in my life. So sorry to disappoint, but I am honestly not dating and am not interesting in dating either.

As you all know this month, the 16th I met someone special. You alreay know who it is, obviously, and well some of you seem to be really freaking out about it lately. Yes this month is very important and I'm looking forward to picking up the phone and calling Miley that day so we can talk about those days. I'm big when it comes to staying friends with people I've dated before. If I've found myself attracted or romantically linked to someone, I can't just let it go, because we had a connection for a reason. And, obviously, Miley and I have a lot of history. Something I'm not willing to let go of that easily. Regarding the ''7 Things'' of last time, you know what whatever negative emotion she has whether its towards me, her boyfriend, her best friend, she needs to let it out. And if that anger was towards me, then, I can't honestly call her out on something like that. Like me, Miley's way of expressing herself is through music. When you perform is when you should let out all those feelings. Changing lyrics, cursing, however that might be, that's cool with me. Just stop blowing things out of proportion. Now whether it had an effect on me or anything. SHE knows if it did or not. I am very well aware of when Miley is mad at me, she's very open when it comes to that. She's honestly a great girl, and still means the world to me. And I am not going to let go of a friendship because of some feelings she might have sometimes, and some feelings I might have sometimes, whether they're good or bad. We're all humans and we all need an outlet and for us that's what music is. So that was regarding ALL your questions about that performance. I love Miley to death, we dated, we moved on, and now we are where we are. I'm happy that SHE'S happy with someone, and she's with her best friends and she's doing what she loves. So NO I didn't reject her before. YES, I am fully aware that she did say Full Circle was about me. Yes, I know a LOT of things that all of you don't know. So please STOP assuming that you know what we feel, what we say, what our relationship is. And for those bothered about my constant ''She's a friend now, and that's whats important'' its the TRUTH, she is a friend now an that IS what's importnat. I'm sorry if you don't like the way it IS now, but it is NOT up to you how I feel, or how she feels. Thank you.

With that said, please ask some more interesting questions on formspring. Not trying to be mean, but all of that stuff is really besides the point. None of you KNOW what exactly goes on with my life. I'm here being honest with you, and telling you that there is NO point in trying to figure out someone elses' life. I think everyone deserves privacy. At least a smidge of it. Just because I do answer some personal questions on formspring, doesn't mean that I'm completely comfortable with it. So, again, respect that privacy whethere you're ansty to know. That's something you shouldn't really care about. It's invading my privacy, Nicole's, Liam's, Selena's, Miley's an whoever else you ask about. And I AM going to tell you this, I am NOT letting other people's business out. What's going on in THEIR lives it is NOT my business. So, keep that in mind.

God bless,
Nick Jonas

P.S. ''No one's more blind than who doesn't want to see, and no one's more deaf than who doesn't want to listen.''